Knowing how to relocate your life to a new city causes anxiety but also offers opportunities for creating a new, exciting life.
Learning how to move your life on your own after relocating to a new city is difficult. It takes time, patience, and work to recreate a life. Sitting alone at home, missing the life you left behind does nothing but support fear. Relocation is one of the greatest stressors in life; fear and apprehension are normal feelings even when the move is voluntary and the destination is a dream come true.
Constructing a new life after a relocation is a chance to reinvent yourself. It’s a chance to grasp what you want out of life, but it isn’t an easy transition. Learning to move outside your comfort zone is necessary and remembering it’s a chance for a new beginning, lessens fear.
Why are you moving?
As you pack-up your old life, be honest with yourself. Consider your new life goals. Acknowledge what’s important in your current life and must to be a part of life after relocation. How will you create those activities, support or situations after you relocate? If you go to a city where you know no one, it will be lonely and isolating. Preparation ahead of time will better prepare you for the realities of life upon arrival.
If a new job is the cause of relocation, don’t expect to find instant friends, especially if you will be responsible for a team or department. Building trust and relationships takes time. If you already belong to a group, check if there are affiliates in your new location, contact them and transfer your memberships if allowed. Use the internet to explore the new community; locate health clubs, sports groups, and religious organizations in your new neighborhood. Explore the city on-line; locate museums, performing arts centers, sports venues, etc., and review local news channels and radio websites to learn what’s going on in the city before you arrive.
If you won’t be working, know ahead of time loneliness will be your first friend. How long it takes to make new acquaintances and friends is up to you. If people tell you about friends or relatives they know in your new city, ask for their phone numbers. It’s easier to call someone when you share a contact and they’ve been told you are moving into the area. Keep an open mind to any opportunity to begin building your life. Accept before you move that you’ll get lost driving around, go to movies, eat, or drink coffee at Starbucks alone. Any relocation is difficult; the older you are when you relocate, a heightened sense of anxiety will exist until you become comfortable and familiar in the new setting.
You’ve moved – now what?
Settle your home. Creating an environment surrounded with favorite and sentimental pictures and items will help you feel at home. If your new area is in a different climate than the one you left, indulge yourself by buying a few new items. If you’ll be spending more time outside, brighten the yard with flowers, get a barbeque or buy a pair of flip-flops or sandal, even if it’s December. If you’re in a snow area, treat yourself to warm slippers or a fluffy robe, new mugs to enjoy hot chocolate. Have fun becoming a part of the community.
As soon as you’re settled begin finding necessities such as banks, markets, coffee spots, gas stations, and cleaners. As you become familiar with the vendors, you’ll feel less lonely because of these human connections.
An easy way to begin exploring the neighborhood is by regularly walking the dog if you own one. A friendly dog is a good way to meet neighbors. Don’t be shy – tell them you’ve relocated to the area. People like to feel “in the know” and offer their opinions on where you should market, in and out of the neighborhood and what’s going on If they extend an invitation, accept!
Remind yourself you’re beginning a new life. Now is the opportune time to try hobbies or activities you’ve wanted to try. You don’t have to enjoy all of them, but you won’t know what’s right for your new life until you try. Meeting people in an environment with a mutual interest allows greater opportunity to talk and develop friendships.
Volunteer. You’ll feel terrific devoting your time to help others. Many communities have local newsletters or newspapers; check them for local volunteer opportunities. Try something new or find an area of interest: local theatre groups need ushers and ticket takers, schools, nursing home, hospitals, food banks. Feed your soul and your community as you meet new people.
Be the host. You don’t have to wait for an invitation. Invite your neighbors to join you. Share some of your garden’s flowers or something you’ve prepared. If there is a movie, play, or lecture you’d like to see, invite someone you think you’d enjoy going with. If you’re going hiking, walk on the beach, bike ride, extend an invitation. The worst case scenario is a no. Weren’t you going to go alone anyway? Of course it may be uncomfortable, but remember you’re the newcomer. Those you’re inviting already have a life and it may not dawn on them, yet, to invite you.
Maintain an open mind. If you’re invited to something you’re unfamiliar with, accept the invitation.If you want out of the house, you have to leave the house.
Get up and welcome each day. Get dressed, eat well, exercise daily. It shows when you are confident. Make it a goal to participate and create your day. Go sightseeing, explore the city, go shopping, roam around a garden center, bookstore, a sporting goods store.
When relocating to a new city, accept the facts that it will be stressful, emotional, exciting and confusing. Give yourself permission to experience these mixed feeling and move forward. With the right mentality and preparation, the ultimate outcome may be spectacular. How long a phase of temporary loneliness, in an unfamiliar surrounding last is within your control. Participate in and create your life. Although you’re leaving behind old friends in a comfortable environment, the new life you create can be an exciting, new adventure in a place you can share and create with friends old and new.
