When a dispute arises within a relationship or family; it is not unusual for loved ones to take sides. This can be extremely unhealthy for everyone
When problems arise between family and friends; it is only natural that others involved do and say things they shouldn’t. When a marriage breaks down, for example; normally the family on both sides of this marriage will be in two different camps. This can cause people to become judgmental, make accusations and can lead to major disputes between the extended family. This can make the problems the married couple are having ten times worse.
It Is Usually About Loyalty
Our feelings of devotion for our family and loved ones are normal, normal emotion and when the ‘you know what’ hits the fan; it is completely understandable for someone to take the side of their family member or loved one. In-fact this kind of reaction is automatic, especially when you feel that ‘your person’ is getting the raw end of the stick. And this reaction is even more understandable when you can see evidence that your loved one is being hurt; either physically, emotionally or mentally.
Sometimes Loyalty Can Be A Problem
While being loyal and protecting the ones we love is a natural, normal process; it is equally important to make sure that you understand the whole story behind the drama that’s happening in your loved one’s life. Doing all you can to find out all the facts behind the drama that has occurred in your loved one’s life is so important.
Making the decision to take sides and attack the other person or people involved is a big mistake. This can often make the situation worse for your loved one, because it is quite likely that the person who you have branded the ‘bad guy’ will have a side you have not heard, and this person will feel misunderstood and ganged up on. This in turn could result in the so called ‘bad guy’ taking their frustration out on the person you are trying to protect.
So What’s The Lesson Here?
Judging a person’s actions or words is really unfair unless you have taken the time to find out all the facts. Not bothering to gather the facts and forming your own opinion is not fair and totally irresponsible. It is also even worse to take sides or defend ‘your person’s’ side unless you are aware of all the facts.
Second, if you do not desire to be a part of your loved one’s drama; then stick to that and do not become involved. Do not make the mistake of making comments regarding the issue or expressing your views. If you do not want any part of the situation, then shut up and change the subject. Do not defend or express a viewpoint on any side.
Your loved one will understand if you do not want to be involved as long as you make it very clear that you care for them, but you cannot become involved. They may feel hurt that you won’t talk the problem over with them, but in the end they will understand.
